Have you ever found yourself muttering under your breath … I wish they would have just talked to me personally about … my health, home, work etc. (you fill in the blanks). Trying to understand why some family and friends gossip more than others I turned to the natural world for guidance.
Gossip is generally defined as idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others. I do find it interesting that the origin of the word relates to being a godparent to whom you could confide in. Currently however, the social purpose of gossip is loosely a protective group function and a way of enforcing social norms.
My original assumption was that humans were the only species to engage in gossip because of course the animal kingdom had no need for such pettiness. Much to my dismay a quick web search uncovered quite a few examples of how many animals actually do engage in gossip. While grooming each other, chimpanzees, guerrillas, orangutans, apes, and monkeys were studied to have different types of body language related to other primates in the group. I also was surprised to find out that there has been some evidence to show how dolphins and even parrots may indeed gossip.
So why did I still have this uncomfortable feeling about gossip? Digging a little deeper I eventually discovered that not all animal’s gossip. Wolves do not gossip. They have a direct method of communication. Being a women of few words and one who likes to run with the wolves, I could identify with this no-nonsense, direct approach.
Doing this informal nature-based research helped me grudgingly acknowledge that gossip does have different purposes and practices. Aside from discovering world peace, the challenge would seem to be an acceptance that people have varying communication styles and gossip values. The simple answer may just come down to choice. Deciding whether to participate in gossip or deal directly with another person is a choice each of us gets to make. What’s your choice?
Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
http://books.google.ca/books?id=hevhW5lvEBsC&dq=do+animals+gossip&source=gbs_navlinks_s
August 14, 2014
My work with “The Healing Journey” taught me “who cares what other people think and say”. It is what you think about yourself that matters. I also learned through “The Healing Journey” if you have questions or concerns – deal with it – ask directly – don’t ruminate.
August 14, 2014
Agreed ~ direct communication is the best!
August 15, 2014
First of all I have never known you to be a woman of few words. Many people have fun with gossip so long as it is not hate full or personal attack on someone. Gossip is a way of communicating with other people but not meant to be harmful.
Note the Vet has been out for its yearly run.
August 15, 2014
Thanks for your views and for sparking up the Vet!
August 17, 2014
Let others talk about others. And let them be judged by their own words and standards when they come back to haunt them. And they always do.
If others speak ill of me, out of envy, then I know that I am doing something “enviable”.
Sometimes the faculty of speech is detrimental to the faculty of reasoning and logic; or they all necessarily are not used at the same time.
Don’t be upset, be happy that you are doing something that is really cool and enviable. Mongolia is a really cool place. Geneticists say that one in four people on Earth are a direct descendant of Genghis Khan.
To me, it seems you are drawn to your ancient “warrior” roots. (Perhaps this might be from past lives.)
Have a happy, successful and safe trip – formidable, and gentle warrior woman.
August 17, 2014
Thank you for these words of wisdom.