Vision Quest Part III: The Return from the Wilderness

I have just returned from my first Vision Quest in the Gila Wilderness located in southwest New Mexico, USA. The experience was so rich and rewarding that I decided to share this quest in three parts; Preparation, Solo Vision Fast, and The Return.

Completing four days and four nights alone in the wilderness while just fasting on water, the solo segment of the quest was over and my re-entry into the world began. I was ecstatic to see that all of six my fellow questers were safe and bursting to share their stories. After some fruit, nuts and oatmeal we departed base camp.

The trek out of the valley, was for me, quite brutal. Basically, we had to hike 1.5 km (approximately a mile) straight up 900 feet. I started out strong but died at the half way point. The freshly mended bones in my broken foot were not too happy and I was overheating in the hot sun. I thought to myself if this was any indication of what re-entry into the real world would be like; I definitely would consider going back to my little sleeping bag under the stars.

And then our fearless leader Sparrow came back down to relieve me of my heavy pack. I had to laugh because I had felt pretty good about leaving a lot of my ‘emotional stuff’ in the valley during the solo, but perhaps I would need to review what I was still carrying forward into my season of becoming less young. Being the last to climb the hill, the group had graciously waited for me for the group photo.

Back in the campground I stumbled over to the stream, stripped down and fully immersed myself in the fast running current, reveling at how cold water could quickly wash away exhaustion. I did feel proud of myself for completing the solo portion of the quest … and intuitively knew that the more difficult part of this journey was yet to come.

Later in our circle we all shared our stories and then we all mirrored back what we had heard our fellow questers experience. Retrospectively, this process of speaking out loud helped me move out of my head and forced my whole being (heart and soul) to viscerally acknowledge what had transpired over the last few days. I did feel awkwardly honoured that others were interested to witness and celebrate this journey with me, as I with them.

So what did I learn? That there are no neon buffalos, that I really like traveling through life with a bunch of like-minded people, that I yearn for community, that scar tissue needs attention to remain pliable, that I am mortal, that Mother Nature will always be here for me, that perhaps it is possible to find someone to grow old with … and maybe it is time to stop playing small with my life purpose and start really going for it. I also learned that for me, setting aside regular time for nature based spiritual practice will ensure more balance in my life.

On the last morning I recalled that my intention for this quest was to accept growing old, to explore becoming a crone. I left with more questions than answers and knew I would struggle with the ‘what’s next’ steps that often follow ‘big’ events. I can report that I have shifted the image of myself from Old Crone to one of Wise-Woman-In-Training and that I have A LOT of life left to live and give!!

“Death is not the greatest loss in life.
The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.”
– Norman Cousins

Thanks to Sparrow Hart for facilitating this life enriching experience, and to Bobby, Dan, Eben, Margot, Michiko, and Z Ta’te for sharing your laughter and your tears ~ Namaste.

Coming up – Vision Quest Epilogue: Stonepile Secrets

For more information: http://www.questforvision.com/