Living alone in a remote log cabin in the middle of the mountains for the past 18 months, has been a very gratifying and empowering experience for me. These feelings suddenly evaporated when an accident reduced me to the new territory of vulnerability and dependency.
Over the years I have always loved challenging activities like; climbing mountains, facing down bears, swimming with sharks, paddling in the arctic and of course raising two sons. But it only took 3 seconds for me to tumble from Superwoman to super wounded.
A fall off my loft bedroom ladder during a sleepy pre-dawn bathroom break left me in a crumpled heap on the tile floor below. I winced, stood up and shook it off. Grateful I hadn’t knocked myself out, I didn’t think it was a big issue and of course I wouldn’t need any help. After all I was Superwoman and I could do almost anything. But when my right foot started swelling and turning purple I thought perhaps I should get a picture taken just to be safe.
Not wanting to wake anyone up at the Lodge I drank a cup of coffee, took two aspirin and then hobbled down the hill to the car at 6am. Yes my right foot was pretty fat but it really didn’t hurt that bad when I started to drive. To save time I drove over the Hurley into Whistler. I was convinced that the hour of shaking over the washboard dirt road would help the circulation in my foot.
Being one of the first into the Whistler Clinic meant no waiting which is good because a Superwoman hates to waste time. I thought a couple of x-rays and then I would be heading back to the cabin. This is what happened the last time I had an injury when dropped a desk on my foot. But, not this time.
The doctor informed me that I had FOUR broken bones in my right foot and a cracked rib. The staff stared at me in disbelief when I told them I had driven alone for 2 ½ hours to get to the clinic. Then they asked for my car keys because there was no way I would be driving for the next eight weeks.
I was grounded. I went into shock and instantly felt very helpless and alone. After a little cry, I realized that I would have to break down and ask people for help. Not just ask for a few little favours, but for some major help. This felt and still feels very foreign to me. I am usually the caregiver, the nurturer, the one with limitless energy – Superwoman – not the one asking or requiring assistance.
So in order to manage this predicament, I have had to ask my Superwoman persona to move out of the log cabin for a while to let me heal as a vulnerable and dependent human being.
It would appear that my next trek will be exploring the pathways of how to ask for help and receive with gratitude. I wonder where I can find a trail guide or map for this journey?
July 30, 2012
That was quite the fall Carol. That’s what a couple of pre-dawn drinks will do for you! I hope that you are on the mend…. and you’re right asking for help sucks. But it’s just the universe giving back – isn’t that what the buddists talk about – balance (and not just on the step ladder!)
Keep better,
Marian
July 30, 2012
Balance is a great perspective … thanks Marian.
July 30, 2012
You ARE a super woman … just not ‘Superwoman’! 🙂 But no one on the planet is ‘Superwoman’. Sometimes we need to be reminded of this. It is good to pay attention to these types of signs, they are there for a reason. Funny how we would never expect others to do what we demand of ourselves. It’s time to ease up a bit and take some time. And speaking from experience, having a busted foot and being on crutches is a good time to take some time! Take care of yourself and your busted foot! And don’t worry – everything will mend in time. Speaking from experience 🙂 If you need any help with big drives, let me know! Both of my feet are OK … as of now 🙂 Sending you hugs,
July 30, 2012
Thanks for the disctinction and I too think you are a ‘super woman’. Keep you posted Val.
July 30, 2012
Wow Carol – I am very sorry to hear this – you must have been in shock because the pain would be phenomenal – mind you you are always about mind over matter…so I see your point. It is hard to understand sometimes that we are not always able to keep that persona alive – we are strong, we are woman, we can do anything – then something happens that crushes us. You it took something physical –> which is interesting because you are such a physical person…me it took something personal – against my personality.
Anyhow enough of this nattering – you will be find – it will make you slow down a little, smell more roses…why don’t you come out to Ontario and Ican visit you and we can drink wine and laugh about all these things???? Take care, thinking about you…I hope it heals quick for you.
July 30, 2012
Great awareness Vera … let’s make sure we don’t have to re-learn these things.
July 30, 2012
Get better soon, lots of hugs. Sharon
July 30, 2012
Thanks Sharon – you are a role model of healing for me 🙂
July 30, 2012
Hi Carol – sorry to hear about your injury. I know how you feel. I had a couple of ankle injuries that had me hobbling around on crutches for about 3 months. I HATED asking for help but really had little choice. Having said that, I did find that people were very willing to help and I think they
got pleasure out of being of assistance – just as we do! Love and a virtual hug to you – take good care.
July 30, 2012
Karen I am visualizing a big jolly hug from you and it makes me smile!
July 30, 2012
Heal well, time to take the month of August to watch the clouds flow by. You should hop on a plane and let me take care of you for a change.
July 30, 2012
Thanks for the offer Shirley and you may see me sooner than you think 🙂
July 30, 2012
I think you should take Vera’s advice, we can drink wine and laugh about it……….in Ontario. The only problem is that we now have to “find” a pool or at least a water’s edge somewhere. Perhaps this is natures way of making you slow down and smell the roses as referred to in another post. Be well and I DO hope to see you soon. I even have an empty bedroom for you.
July 30, 2012
Let me know if you need your legs and feet rubbed!!
July 30, 2012
I will keep it in mind, thanks for the offer.
July 30, 2012
I know it’s incredibly painful especially in the morning when you first put your foot on the floor…yet you made it sound no big deal. You are truly amazing and I hope you heal soon.
Take much care and I will be thinking about you.
Veronica
July 30, 2012
Thanks for the well wishes and I will do best to heal sooner than later!
July 31, 2012
Oh Carol, I’m so sorry to hear about that but you’re still Superwoman to me. And even Superheroes need a little help otherwise there’d be no Justice League 🙂
Wishing you a speedy recovery and the courage to ask for help and receive it like a true hero,
Guy
July 31, 2012
Carol:
So sorry to hear about your fall and injury. Knowing you, you will mend and be back on both feet too quickly, through sheer determination. Don’t be stubborn, take some time to recover. I know we were raised to help, not be helped. There comes a point in life that we have to think of ourselves, and ask that terrifying question. “Can you please help ME.” It is hard, but you are not alone.
I have the wine and a pool and will be on a weeks vacation really soon. If you do decide to come to Ontario for some R&R, call me.
Pavlova.
August 1, 2012
Hi Carol,
So, so sorry to hear about the fall, I am very experienced with helping strong women who have temporary mobility issues. Let me know if you need a hand. My piggy backs are renowned!
Take care and heal fast.
Love from Andrew, Marissa and Nicholas xx
August 2, 2012
I’m so sorry to hear that you had the fall but at least you are still alive and kicking . You will heal and get on with your life again.
Just to let you know that my mom passed away on July 28th. her celebration of her life is on Aug 11 at our church, West Park Church on Gainsborough rd in London.
I hope you heal well and get back to your normal. Love you
August 2, 2012
Condolences on the passing of your Mom. I know you will miss her. She was always a generous and friendly soul. You now carry her torch. Hugs – Carol